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Topics: Gay, fudge packer

Monday, 27 July 2009

image for World Champion Fudge Packer Admits He Wanted to Be a Cowboy
"I like cows, but they are too tall (so I went to sheep)."

Thomas Craig, formerly of San Fagcisco but now in Washington, D.C., is the current title holder World Champion Fudge Packer. In a meeting in the White House Press Room to introduce him as a new worker in the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises, Craig talked about his life.

"I spent over 20 years in Texas. Someone once said that it was full of steers and queers, but I guess that I was the only one because all I could find was cows (and they were all a little too tall for me)."

"I had this dream when I got there of being a cowboy, but the sheep were more my size and speed and the cattle ranchers didn't care much for sheep men. I don't know how many barns and fields I got chased out of."

"That's why I moved to California. I considered Arkansas, but didn't really want to share my cigar with any women."

When asked what qualifications he brought to the Oval Office, Craig said that he didn't have any (which kept the current streak of "none" intact dating back to inauguration day).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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