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Wednesday, 22 July 2009

image for Ross Kemp Favourite For Lead Role In New 'Kojak' Movie
Ross Chats With Al Murray At The Audition

Casting has started in Hollywood for the new 'Kojak' movie, hotly tipped to be the blockbuster movie of summer 2010.

Kojak, originally starred baldy actor Telly Savalas as a lollipop sucking NYPD detective whose catchphrase was: "Who loves ya baby?" The show was a 1970's global TV phenomenon.

The all new Kojak movie has been scripted by an English contributor to a well regarded satirical website, TheSpoof.com The writer, who declined to be named, told us:

"They're mainly using English guys on the project, although I have been advised by some US Spoofers regarding script content. It seems the Producers latched on to the excellent Bargis Tryhol Agent 004 serial in the website's Magazine section, and made their choice as a result of that."

Reports indicate that the Producers' initial preference was for an American actor to play the lead role, but it seems that despite the lure of megabucks, notables such as Rob Pattinson, Zac Efron, Kevin Bacon, and Al Pacino were reluctant to shave their heads for the role. Robert DeNiro expressed an interest but was committed to other projects.

So the focus switched to England, where people often sport shaven heads, for no apparent reason. Leading contenders for the part at the time of writing include, comedians Harry Hill and Al Murray, Norris off Coronation Street, and one-time Olympic medallist Duncan Goodhew.

But award winning ex EastEnders hard man Ross Kemp emerged as a clear favourite as he announced his audition. He told us:

"I've been doing documentaries about gangs, and I've been faced with firefights in Afghanistan. An acting job would be a lovely diversion."

Danny Dyer was said to be 'shitting himself' and hiding under the stairs.

More showbiz goss as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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