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Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Miley Cyrus Plans "Comeback" Tour For 2029
Cyrus expects to find herself on the floor drunk and half naked in a couple of years.

Hannah Montana star and pop singing sensation 17 year old Miley Cyrus told the media today that she is already planning her "Comeback World Tour" for the year 2029.

"I'm a child star now", the mature teenager stated. "But I'll be growing up soon. More than likely I will burn out, get into drugs, have sex scandals and fall off the radar of popular culture. I want to be prepared for when I decide to come back and have people worship me again".

Miley's father Billy Ray Cyrus says he is looking forward to his daughter's return to the stage after her inevitable burnout. "Her mother is managing her career right now. But after she turns 18 she will probably give her mother the boot and get involved with some unscrupulous businessman who only wants her for her money. She'll spend a couple of years with paparazzi following her around trying to get naked pictures of her. After a while she will become drug addicted, alcoholic, promiscuous and no one will even recognize her anymore and she'll probably get a job at WalMart or something. But the time will come when she'll be ready to jump back into the spotlight again and we'll be there when she does".

Miley's mother says her daughter will probably need a face lift and tummy tuck before returning to the stage.

Bill Ray and his wife have been saving their money to carry them through the 'lean times' when Miley is no longer marketable. Like all good celebrity parents they will not support their daughter when she is "cracked up" but will do their utmost to make her profitable again.

Miley says she has no immediate plans to become a drug and alcohol ridden whore but acknowledges "that's what happens to all child stars".

The Comeback Tour, scheduled to start in May of 2029 when Miley is 37 years old, will include concerts in Los Angeles, San Fransisco, New York, Boston, Paris, Berlin, Tokyo and Bismark, ND.

"We might cancel the North Dakota one", she later revealed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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