Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Celebrities

Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for The SpUNk daily reveals relief of celeb/VIP hotels after the death of a certain Loony celeb!
Wild bitch Madonna attempts to scupper the publicty of that dead VIP "Loony" by attempting a very "Shitty" publicity stunt!

After the death of a certain "Loony" celeb, luxury/VIP hotels are showing signs of relief the world over.

The Daily SpUNk and its scumbag reporters curious to find out the reasons for this outburst of relief at losing one of its most famous inhabitants have been told the following reasons by a CEO from the super luxury Hilton chain:

"This fucking Loony started the whole shit by dangling his baby out of the window of one of our German, rich and fab hotels."

"Ever since then we've had to build safety baby-catch nets around our penthouse suites worldwide, just in case some other Loony VIP's hoping for a bit of cheap publicity drop their babies out of our hotel windows, not good for fucking business and cost us millions."

"Actually we've had some rather nasty incidents recently involving Madonna, Brad and Angela attempting to attract the worlds paparazzi for some cheap and nasty publicity and not wishing to copy that other chimp loving Loony."

"Complaints from other VIP guests of blocked bogs, overflowing sinks and rather pungent pongs coming from their penthouse suites in Dubai and Las Vegas forced us to enter their suites and we discovered a disturbing new version of them wishing to attract those scumbag reporters."

"Apparently they thought it would be a great idea to flush their adopted, African children down their gold-plated bogs and see who could win the "sick" publicity race, unfortunately (or fortunately for the babies!) the bog holes were not wide enough and it caused the whole system to seize, costing us millions to repair but we managed to nip them at the bud or bog, so to say!"

The Daily SpUNk will be issuing this article as soon as the bullshit surrounding that other Loony dies down, maybe in ten years, hopefully the story remains just as white-hot and very boring as the present one!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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