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Thursday, 25 June 2009

image for Man with world's largest penis stalked by Vanessa Hudgens
I keep getting creepy messages like "cant wait to get U in these Frankie B's" and "pleez say OK."

HOLLYWOOD, CA - The man with the world's largest penis, currently on tour to promote his latest CD, a back-to-his-roots, rock-solid musical endeavor titled Gone Straight, revealed today that he has a stalker.

Speaking with a generic, semi-hot, vacuous bimbo on Horizen Wireless' new online pop show PocketYourTube, the star said at least one of the people he worked with on his last video has also worked with Vanessa Hudgens, and now he "keep[s] getting these creepy messages" saying things like "cant wait to get U in these Frankie B's" and "pleez say OK."

The not unsung and well-hung hero talked at length about his new CD, set for release later this summer. The title track, he said, references his attempts to "be more honest about my music, and myself."

The hard-rockin' CD also includes tracks titled In 'n' Out, Footlong With Relish, Kidney Punch, Hard to Stay Away, Long to Be With You, a Hank Williams Jr. style romp called This Belt Buckle Ain't No Tombstone for a Dead Dick, the vicious track I Should'a Rolled Over and Shot You Out the Window addressing his relationship with his estranged son, and a duet with Michael Jackson titled Beat It 2009.

The man with the world's largest penis also revealed that, if there was ever a fight between himself, Sacha Baron Cohen and Eminem, Cohen would "make mincemeat" of himself and the trailer park troubadour.

Watch the full interview with the man with the world's largest penis by clicking here.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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