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Tuesday, 16 June 2009

image for Lily Allen confesses "I'm not a nice person"
Lily also Twittered that it's time Muhammad Ali stopped going on about his Parkinson's

Lily Allen has finally admitted to what everyone has known all along, that she's a nasty bitch.

"I know I say a lot of things about people that can be sharp edged. But that's only because I'm a nasty, poisonous person. There's no other reason."

Miss Allen has tried her hand at TV presenting, acting, fashion, perfumes and novels, and failed at all of them, so she's returned to what made her famous in the first place, which is hurling abuse at other singers and celebrities.

"Some singers let their music speak for itself. I don't agree with that. It's not enough to just release a single or an album. You need to slag off some people on your Twitter page to get attention."

Despite this venal habit, Miss Allen tried to appear smart and astute in the lyrics to her song The Fear, condemning current pop culture as only being about "cussing each other." No doubt, the irony was lost on her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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