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Monday, 8 June 2009

image for Gordon Brown phones Jack Tweed to check he's OK
Mr Brown will be moving out of Downing St very soon

In another pathetically desperate attempt to appear hip, soon-to-be-outgoing prime minister Gordon Brown phoned The People's Twat, Jack Tweed, to check he was OK upon his release from prison.

Brown said: "I just wanted to check he was doing alright, like I did with Susan Boyle. He's a very nice young man who's still grieving for the loss of his dear wife, Jade Goody."

The grieving widow is planning a party for his 22nd birthday which he said on his Facebook page will be a "night of mayhem" and he added: "See you in your bikinis, girls."

Tweed is said to be considering his options, now that his career as the husband of a Z-list celebrity is over. Essex residents have signed a petition demanding The People's Dick be given a knighthood for his heroism and bravery in having been briefly married to someone who got cancer. Mum of twelve, Sharon Tracey, said: "He's proper brave, our Jack. There ain't no one braver than him in the whole of England and thing. He's our Essex prince."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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