Written by Wire Piddle
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Monday, 1 June 2009

image for Susan Boyle Taken To Hospital Singing Clodagh Rogers - I'm Just A Jack In The Box

LONDON, UK - Britain's Got Talent loser, Susan Boyle, was seen being escorted from her Mayfair hotel by ambulance attendants as she was singing the Eurovision 1971, Clodagh Rogers hit, 'I'm Just A Jack In The Box', whilst dressed in bed sheets and a pillowcase over her head.

Although medical information is confidential under the Health Act, more than one member of the hospital cleaning staff divulged that the popular singer had "really gone barmy-like, around-the-bend, unhinged, one foot not following the other, one sandwich short of a picnic, one flying buttress short of a cathedral, left her marbles at Marylebone Station, taken the bucking out of Buckingham Palace, rounded off the corners at Trafalgar Square."

Police have also let slip that if it hadn't been the quick-thinking work of an assistant hotel maintenance manager who had screwed Boyle's window shut, fire crews might be scraping her off the pavement with a spatula.

No comment has been issued by BGT staff. They're all on holiday in Majorca.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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