Written by Ricardo Fromage
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Thursday, 28 May 2009

image for Boyle and Brand to be 'The New Professionals'
The orignal professionals

Top film producer Steven Spielberg is planning to bring back another slice of nostalgia by reviving the TV classic 'The Professionals' as a full length movie with a modern twist.

Affionados of the series will remember with affection the thin plots, the girls, the Ford Escort and Lewis Collins who perfected the art of 'looking hard' long before Ross Kemp had even had his first pout in the playground.

Spielberg knows that he will have to appeal to a younger audience with a small intellect and an even smaller attention span. Therefore, he has cast Susan Boyle as 'Doyle' to avod any confusion, Russell Brand, Britains unfunniest man, will take on the role of 'Bodie'.

At this stage, it is unclear who will take on the role of 'Cowley', played by Gordon Jackson in the original series.However, sources close to the producer say that Sir Alan Sugar has the gravitas to call the role his own.

Fans will be looking forward to the inevitable car chase through Brixton gas works, although this time, instead of a Ford Capri, Boyle and Brand will be driving a Toyota Prius in order to appeal to the tree huggers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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