Written by Khadija
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Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Peter Andre and Jordan predictably split up - no-one surprised!
Peter will leave the marraige with only the clothes on back and all the money he can stuff down his panties!

Peter Andre and Jordan have split up after four years of marriage and hilariously have called for privacy.

Holding a press conference in their underwear the pair of privacy dodging celebrities asked reporters to respect their privacy as they allowed twenty camera crews into their home.

Jordan who now has a CCTV camera installed in her brain asked reporters not to film this very private moment as she consulted divorce lawyers dressed only in a pair of glasses and a smile.

Peter looked shaken as he walked to his car and re-re-re-released his famous hit single 'Mysterious girl'.

The pair will be selling their stories to various magazines, where they will be featured looking 'sad' and 'in need of friends'.

Max Clifford when told the news jumped for joy clicking his heels in mid air saying " This couple is underexposed and it is important that the public get to know the real Peter and Jordon. I am just the man to bring the plight of yet another predictable celebrity divorce to the public eye- with one of the coming out of it -being as popular as Heather Mills"

Over the next few weeks Jordon may or not be releasing stories in the tabloid titled

"My Divorce Hell"

"My Divorce Nightmare"

"Peter was a brute"

"Peter couldn't handle my fame"

"Will my divorce upstage Susan Boyle?"

"Divorce won't change me"

"We stayed together for the kids"

"Still good friends"

"My Body Hell"


.....and many many more !

Peter will be performing in a one man concert on ITV Peter and Katie Price. Insiders say he will be singing a two hour version of 'Mysterious Girl'.

Katie Price aka Jodie Marsh, will be keeping two children and her left boob, Peter will be asking for one child, her right boob and 10lbs of body fat sucked out of her thighs from her 2007 liposuction tour of the U.S .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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