Written by Ed E. Druckman
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 17 April 2009

(Los Angeles-CA) Ashton Kutcher won in his contest with CNN breaking news feed in a race to one million followers on the social networking site Twitter. But Paris Hilton, who hasn't been in the news for over three days, has accepted a challenge from Twitter. She announced today that she will challenge Kutcher to see who will be the first to lose one million followers.

Kutcher broke the million mark late Thursday. The actor, known for such roles as sleeping with Demi Moore, vowed that if he won he would donate 10,000 mosquito nets to the charity Malaria No More. He lived up to his promise by writing a check out for $100,000. CNN said earlier this week, win or lose they would match his donation. The actor also stated that if victorious he would "ding-dong-ditch" CNN founder Ted Turner's door, though this was dropped when Turner replied, "I'm an NRA life member, and I have a shotgun."

However, Paris Hilton thinks it's no great accomplishment, and the heiress made it known at a press conference Friday. "If you're hot, it's easy to get followers. But to lose followers, that's a challenge, and that's what I'm challenging him to. I am a strong enough woman to be unpopular. Is he strong enough? By that, I mean as a man, not a woman."

Admittedly, there are some obstacles. Since Hilton isn't even currently on Twitter, how could she get followers, much less lose them? She remains determined. "Whenever you try to do something hard, people are going to tell you it can't be done. But if that hard thing is a good thing, it's worth it. And I might add all hard things are good things."

In order to make the contest fair, Hilton will first get one million followers. "Being hot, I can get a million followers in like a day. I mean I'm halfway there just with the guys I met on Adult Finder", said the "House of Wax" supporting actor. Hilton also vowed to play fair not using any edge. "I'm excluding any guys I've had one night stands with. I think that's a fair handicap."

After Hilton reaches the million mark "the challenge will begin, because who doesn't want to follow me? And who is Ashton Kutcher? Isn't he just known for being married to like an old lady?" It was then that Kutcher jumped out from behind the stage and told Hilton that she had been punk'd.

As of this writing, the concept is still being explained to Hilton.

Make Ed E. Druckman's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

1 17 20 24

Go to top