Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Samantha Ronson

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Samantha Ronson To Star In The Donny And Marie Osmond Story
Samantha Ronson shown in her backyard dancing by herself to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies'

HOLLYWOOD - Now that she has dumped her girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson has just signed to star in the MGM movie, "The Donny and Marie Osmond Story."

It was really not made clear if Samantha will be portraying Donny or Marie. One thing for certain however is that Marie is not at all happy with the casting.

She told CNN's Larry King that she does not like Samantha Ronson. When King asked her why, Marie got quite upset and replied that she felt that Ronson is not even in the same league as she is.

Marie stated that Ronson is in the minor leagues along with the likes of Amy Winehouse and Courtney Love.

Ms. Osmond added that she has been told hundreds of times that she is one of the prettiest Mormon girls in all of Utah. She also said that dozens of men have told her that she has very beautiful legs.

Marie noted that her legs, unlike Ronson's do not look like legs you would find underneath an ostrich.

When asked to comment Marie's brother Donny said that personally he would have liked to see Angelina Jolie portray Marie and Brad Pitt portray him.

He did say for the record that he will not be a happy Mormon camper if he finds out that Ronson will be portraying him. Donny said that even though he is no muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger he isn't no Andy Dick either.

When Samantha Ronson was told of the comments by Donny and Marie, she reportedly said, "Danny and Mary Osgood? Who the hell are Danny and Mary Osgood anyway?"

In other news. The Purina Dog Food Company has already signed the Obama's "First Puppy" to star in a puppy food commercial. "Bo" will be shown eating a bowl of Purina Puppy Chow and the announcer will say, "If Purina Puppy Chow is good enough for President Obama's "First Puppy" it's damn sure good enough for your puppy."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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