Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Paris Hilton, Space

Thursday, 24 June 2004

"I've had sex everywhere else; now I want to do it in space!" says Paris Hilton, slutty heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune. "I've already booked passage on that new private Spaceship One. Rick Salomon is going up with me and we're going to do it in every possible position so that I'll hold the record in every department. I'm going to have the whole thing videotaped and I promise it will be on the internet just as soon as I get back to earth!"

Burt Rutan, developer of Spaceship One, confirmed that Paris Hilton had paid an undisclosed sum of money to fly on the next mission to space, "...but I don't know about any plans for making a porno tape on my spacecraft. We go into space for only a few minutes, so Paris had better be quick with her little escapade!"

Latest word on the street is that Paris Hilton is shacked up in one of her hotels and in practicing non-stop for her upcoming flight. Several dozen young men have claimed to have been used by Paris during her "flight training" and none are complaining.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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