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Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for War declared on Jeremy Clarkson by SBIA
SBIA chairman at a recent meeting

Following his description of the Prime Minister as a "one-eyed Scottish idiot", Jeremy Clarkson has had death threats, abusive phone calls, people spitting at him and even Sugarbabes and James Blunt CD's sent directly to his home.

The Prime Minister, who is a chap called Mr Brown, is a decent sort of a bloke living temporarilty in a place called Downing Street, near to the offices where he does a very difficult job rather badly. Although in fairness, not as bad a job as those thieving bankers, and they want bonuses - the fact they've not been hanged should be considered bonus enough.

However, it seems the SBIA - the Scottish Blind Idiot's Association - have taken none to kindly to what they consider a slur on their membership name by the ill-trousered television presenter.

A spokesman for the SIBA said: "Tora! Tora! Tora! - that's what the Japanese planes used to say during the Second World War."

He added: "I don't remember the war very well because it happened 15 years before I was born. That's why we're declaring it on Mr Clarkson.

"Not that I would have seen much of the original War, on account of my deafness. And I certainly wouldn't have heard the planes flying over because I'm partially blind.

"Please pass my medication. My brain hurts."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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