Written by matwil
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Topics: Israel

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

image for Israeli fair comes to town
The Civilianbomber ride. Bonus for hitting ambulances.

Today the Israeli fair dropped into town, and soon the stalls and rides were doing brisk business.

The most popular was the child-shooting gallery. Here you pay a pound and are given a pretend soldier's uniform and an assault rifle, and then get 30 shots at shooting unarmed children pinned to a school blackboard. Next to that is the rocket bomb arcade, where you have to destroy a fake town square with unlimited bombs, bonus points are given for cutting off the water and hitting any passing ambulances.

The rides are the traditional Israeli ones - the Civilianbomber takes people way up into the sky, where they can drop bombs randomly on fleeing children and models of schools . The Massacrama is a train that rides round all the ghettos, that nearby residents are kidnapped and forced into without any food or human rights, and you can shoot as many of them from the Ghettomobile as you wish. And of course there's the Spinelessyankinator, where you can take a break from all the fun and sit around doing nothing and saying nothing, and pretending you don't notice the child-shooting gallery and the Civilianbomber, despite all the deafening screams going on.

One funlover in the Spinelessyankinator, Token O'Spineless, said: 'What bombs? What children?', and went back to sleep. Another one - George Warcriminal Shrub - added: 'If people want to shoot children and drop bombs onto civilians, heck, what do I care? It's the children's fault anyway, for allowing themselves to be kidnapped and put in the ghettoes, or so my friend Ehud Olmert told me to say. Laura, can I go on the Hospitalbomber ride now?'

Some have pointed out that the previous fair from Iraq had been banned on the grounds of child cruelty, bombing hospitals, and all-round evil behaviour, but the fair had made the mistake of calling itself the Iraq one - with a quick change of letters it could have called itself the Israeli fair, and been acceptable to all spineless Presidents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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