Written by keltikmusk
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Topics: Big Brother

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

image for Dennis Nilsen To Enter Big Brother House
The new look Big Brother bedroom

Convicted serial killer, Dennis Nilsen, is set to be a shock entry into this years Big Brother house. It was confirmed yesterday that the crazed sixty-three year old butcher who has a penchant for human flesh will be one of the contestants.

Mr Nilsen is currently serving a life sentence for 15 murders in HMP Full Sutton but will be released on license to take part in the celebrity event. A spokesperson said, "Dennis will make for interesting viewing for our public and will no doubt bring with him to the house his unique sense of humour and culinary skills."

It is understood that Nilsen will share a bedroom with the other celebrities although his will have an electrified steel cage. It is also believed that Nilsen may be given his own specially designed fridge which will be large enough to comfortably accommodate a severed human head. It was confirmed that, should there be bloodshed, they will keep the cameras rolling and should any contestants be slaughtered by Nilsen then they would be exempt from any public vote.

So far the only other confirmed entries to the Big Brother house are Wee Jimmy Krankie and that curly headed bloke who used to present "Magpie" but you never really can remember his name, it might be Mick or something. Speaking at yesterdays "Legends of Comedy" awards, Wee Jimmy Krankie responded to the suggestion that Nilsen would take part by saying, "Dennis Nilsen? He can away an' boil his heed! He'll no be luring me oot tae yon bubbly Jacuzzi and dicing me up to eat me like a bowl o' soup! It'll be fandabidozi!"

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