Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 20 December 2008

image for Strictly Come Dancing Tom Chambers Admits He Hates Dancing
... and he doesn't mean 'hospital bedroom time'

Tom Chambers, this year's runaway winner of the BBC show Strictly Come Dancing, has caused controversy on national TV by admitting that, in reality, he hates dancing.

Chambers and his partner, Camilla Dallerup, won the Grand Final in direct competition with Rachel Stevens in front of a record 20million viewers, but then surprised the watching audience by telling them:

"It gets on my nerves, and it's a bit poncey."

The evening had started with three couples, but Lisa Snowdon was eliminated in a Cheat-Off to leave Rachel and her partner, Vincent Simone, and Tom and Camilla to fight it out.

The public were invited to vote by telephone, although, in reality, no votes were counted, Tom having been chosen as the winner three weeks ago when Austin Healey went out of the competition.

Readers may find themselves unable to take this news in, but, in view of all the many other cheating scandals the corporation has been involved in recently, it should come as no surprise to anyone.

A gushing Tom celebrated his victory with his wife afterwards, and said:

"I've had enough of pretending to be some limp-wristed nancy boy for now - me and my wife have some bedroom time to be catching up with!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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