Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Thursday, 18 December 2008

image for The Fonz  To Star In St James' Primary School's Christmas Panto!
Fonzie's office in Happy Day's and his dressing room at St James Primary School for the next three weeks!

In recent years a glut of Australian soap stars have been drafted in to the UK, to appear in UK pantomime.

Henry Winkler, who used to be the Fonz and very cool, is now joining fellow U.S stars in this bawdy, British tradition. Starsky and Huggy Bear are playing roles, in Scunthorpe Community Bordello and Bilston Gasworks, respectively.

St James Headmistress, Betty Battyhole, 12, said " We had actually booked Samuel L. Jackson for the three week run of bawdy songs, weak dance routines and double entendre. But he cancelled at the last moment, as his agent had found him fifty-six films to make over the Christmas period".

"Fonzie, stepped in at the last moment. He wanted to bring Potsie, who was willing to work for a Gingster's Pasty and a cup of soup a day. However we felt this was an extravagant price to pay for his limited talents".

"Mr Fonzie will be doubling up as Widow Twanky and Baron Hard-on in the St James's Primary school's version of Dick-Head Whittington verus Cinderella Chav"

Mr Fonzie added "This is not quite Happy Days, as the panto will not be recorded in front of a 'live studio audience'. But at least my office is still a toilet".

Fonzie will also be appearing at some place else in the UK as Captain Hook, I think.

Pantomimes are very fu**ing lucrative. I can tell you that for nowt!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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