Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 15 December 2008

image for Strictly Come Dancing Row As Shit Hits Fan
Smut is taken to A&E

There was new drama on the Strictly Come Dancing stage on Saturday night, when members of the studio audience rioted when the result was announced, and a major fight broke out.

Ten people were hurt, one man seriously, after a turd thrown from a balcony struck him on the forehead.

The row erupted when it was announced that all three contestants would be allowed to progress to next week's final, and that there would be no elimination from Saturday's show.

Trouble flared near the back of the auditorium, and quickly spread to other areas. Sporadic fighting broke out, and a table was overturned, spilling three lager shandies and a vodka and tonic.

Police were called, and officers made 72 arrests, but the real flashpoint came when a stinking shit was launched from the second tier of seats, which came to rest with a chilling thud on the head of John Smut, a roadsweeper from Peckham. He was rushed to hospital, where his condition was last night said to be 'stable'.

The final of Strictly Come Dancing will be between Lisa Snowdon, Rachel Stevens and Tom Chambers next Saturday.

Don't bother voting; the result has already been fixed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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