Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Birds, Proverbs

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

image for Man Kills "Two Birds with One Stone"
Morris Saw Two Birds

Alice Springs - Ostrich rancher Elliot Mossy has filed a complaint with the local police against his neighbour Morris "The Menace" Miller.

Mr. Miller, a retired teacher, has dedicted his retirement to see how many popular expressions he can personally act out and document.

So far Mr. Miller is up to 598 and counting. Morris claims to have ate "sour grapes", had "one-for-the-road", did something "cheaper by the dozen" more than once but won't say what it was, had "a little shut-eye", "ate humble pie', "rolled in the hay", "coughed up a little dough", was "more something than soft", caught a "Mersey trout", been a "babe-magnet" and so on and so on.

Morris, who fancies himself a bit of a "ladies-man" since the "babe-magnet" episode in 2007 plans to stop at 600 personal proofs as he calls them at which point he says he will declare his personal and sometimes public oddysey at an end.

Mr. Miller's neighbour Elliot Mossy is outraged at Morris's recent stunt, hoping to "kill two birds with one stone" and go from 598 to the magic number 600 in one go.

Mossy says "Miller is visually impaired" and was throwing rocks at his prize ostrich stud Lester who he "believed was more than one bird."

"Lester was safe but the rocks keep hitting my garage and causing damage."

"I want to squeeze "seven shades of shit" from the barmcake."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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