Written by Jesus Budda
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Wednesday, 29 October 2008

image for Lizzie Maguire star Hilary Duff changes her name to Miley Cyrus to get media attention
You'll need to purchase costumes for the 'Lizzie sings Hannah' doll seperately

Hilary Duff, the former star of children's television show Lizzie Maguire, has changed her name to Miley Cyrus in a desperate attempt to reclaim her 'teen-queen' crown.

The singer/actress/toy brand has struggled to compete with her singing-acting-toy brand archrival Miley Cyrus since the Hannah Montana starlet burst onto the teeny scene.

"She stole my thunder", shrieked Duff, "I was once the biggest teen icon to the Worlds youth and now I'm just a has-been dumped on the crap heap with Macauly Culkin and Corey Feldman and other forgotten teenage losers".

When Duff released an album, Cyrus released a double album featuring her alter ego Hannah Montana.

When Duff released a movie featuring her shitty teenage exploits Cyrus released two movies featuring the exploits of Miley/Hannah.

When Duff showed some revealing neckline for a naughty mens mag Cyrus went a step further by showing her entire back.

The final straw was when Cyrus's Hannah Montana doll shifted 800 Billion boxes on its first day of sale. The Lizzie Maguire doll is sadly only bought by retarded children and as a chewing toy for dogs.

Maguire is convinced that changing her name will save her career before it gets so bad that she ends up having to appear on 'Dancing with the Stars'.

Unfortunately for Duff (AKA Miley Cyrus Mark II), at the time of going to press with this story we discovered that the real Miley Cyrus has changed her own name to a 'Ms. Lizzie Maguire' in the run-up to the Christmas season. Sales have gone through the roof of her 'Lizzie sings Hannah' doll.

Duff was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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