Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Topics: Russell Brand, Prank

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

image for "Russell Brand is  talentless, diseased 'scum' says filthy whore"
Seventy-three types of sexual diseases can be cultured from Rusell Brand's 'sex phone' say scientists

The unfunny, overpaid, walking piece of frozen urine Russell Brand has been 'branded a giant petri dish' by a drunken street-walker.

'He gave me gonorrhea says doxy'

Commom 'harlot' Sharon Macall stated "While I have never met the repulsively offensive man, I find his physical appearance gives me fanny cancer and the mere mention of his name gives me gonorrhea and syphillis. My local supermarket was selling his 'nutty slutty' book and when I walked past a copy, well... I caught a terrible dose of chlamydia. My 90 year old grand-mother refuses to listen to the radio in case she hears his voice and gets Herpes, like the 'dog' did"

The Festering King of Wankers

Penicillin loving Russell Brand is famous for being paid and using the cash to recklessly piss up the walls, shove up his bogey-filled snot-hole or ejaculate mess from his stinking 'putrid penis'.

'Abused lovely pensioner'

In a recent, pitiful, school-boy style publicity stunt 'wastrel Brand' phoned up 'talented' pensioner and voice over artiste Andrew Sachs and began to verbally abuse him, with a range of sexual language so disgusting and deplorable, Mr Sach's ears probably bled.

'Brand is penile-fromage 'nonce' says a UK charity for gentle old folk'

'Filthy Brand' with his matted un-washed head and pubic hair was forced to apologise for his perverted stunt. Claiming he didn't realise that people objected to being woken up at 3 am in the morning, while a sexually frustrated nonce ejaculates in his dirty sticky panties"

"I am sorry, that he didn't see how funny me is" said the slimey toilet brush of a man.

Russell 'Nonce' Brand's only friend, the ageing school bully Jonathwan Woss, was asked to comment about the incident. He ignored the question and praised the 'Nonce' Brand for five hours and then praised himself for ten more !


NB
Petri dish: is Russell Brand or a shallow flat-bottomed dish used to grow bacteria and viruses in laboratory

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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