Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Gay, Alan Carr

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

image for Alan Carr Not Really Gay
Cobblers!

Gay leaders have voiced their concerns tonight, over the revelations that TV's 'funniest' gay comedian, Alan Carr, isn't really gay at all, but actually a screaming closet heterosexual.

Carr, 32, has been around the comedy scene since 2001, and has always benefited from his connections to the gay fringe, amassing a huge fan club. Now though, it seems that the toothy 'King Camp' might not be as gay as he would have people believe.

A source close to Mr Carr has said that the comedian - if you can call him that - has been seen out on the town with women friends, and was actually snapped by a photographer kissing one full on the mouth!

Others have long-suspected that Carr, whose father was a cricket umpire* , was always susceptible to a 'googlie bowled by a bird', and claims have always been rife that he 'swings his bat on both sides of the wicket'.

Now this new 'evidence' has surfaced, however, Carr has been accused by the gay community of taking advantage of homosexualists by associating with other 'gentlemen of Bendery' like Paul O'Grady, and furthering his career with their unflinching support.

* Actually, Alan Carr's father was not a cricket umpire. This misleading information was entered under Artistic Licence. He was, in fact, the manager of Northampton Town Football Club. Their nickname? The Cobblers. Says it all, really.

What a load of Northampton Town.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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