Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 30 September 2008

image for Led Zeppelin Split
Robert Plant in 1992

British rock band, Led Zeppelin, have dashed fans' hopes of seeing them live ever again by announcing that the group have split, and are unlikely to reform before Christmas.

Frontman Robert Plant cited 'old age and senility' as the two main reasons behind the split - he couldn't recall the countless others - and said that, after his current tour across America with bluegrass singer Alison Krauss, he was:

"knackered".

The rock legends got back together for a one-off concert, their first for 19 years, in London last December, and had not split up again, so were 'technically still together'.

But, said Plant, the only reason they were still considered 'together', was that they had become so forgetful in their old age, that they had forgotten to split up earlier!

"It came to me the other day," said Plant, "that we'd forgotten to break up. I contacted the other members of the band, whatever their names are, and formally had a big row. Now it's official, Graf Zeppelin are no more."

The news will come as a massive disappointment to fans who, since the December reunion, had forgotten that the group were not, in fact, a group, but just getting back together to drain the pockets of gullible fans, some of whom weren't even born when Led Zep had their last hit.

One, Dave 'The Rave' Higson, 6, from Shepherd's Bush, said:

"Shit! Rock music will never be the same again now that Led Zep have broke up after they hadn't reformed in the first place. I'm absolutely gutted! As the Bee Gees would have said: It's a bloody tragedy!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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