Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Dixie Chicks

Sunday, 17 August 2008

The Dixie Chicks, who got into some trouble in 2003 when their lead singer Natalie Maines told a London audience that they were ashamed that George Bush was from Texas, are considering an new source of shame for an upcoming tour.

"I mean, George Bush won't be president for that much longer, and the Iraq situation is actually getting better, so we feel kind of silly still being ashamed of that Texas thing, so maybe we need something else." said Maines at a local Burger King restaurant in Tennessee, where the group is on tour.

"I agree" added Martie and Emily, the other two Dixie Chicks.

After the 2003 incident, the group's record sales and air play suffered because of the comment, and they seemed to lose favor with many country music fans.

Maybe something about health care would work" Emily offered as a suggestion. "That's something we can be ashamed of" to which Martie added "Yes."

"I don't know" said Maines. "That's more of an indignant kind of thing. I'm still a bit miffed that George Bush is from Texas, but not really ashamed anymore. Maybe I can be ashamed of Afghanistan, although that's a lot tougher to pull off. You really gotta be self righteous to make that work, and I don't think I can manage that! We're not Hollywood types!"

"Now if the election has some questionable voting procedures" suggested Emily, "we could be ashamed of that, I guess."

Martie added "Yes. And we can always count on somebody accusing someone of cheating, even if it doesn't actually happen."

"I don't know" said Maines, "maybe that would annoy me, but unless it was real bad, I don't think I could be ashamed. I just don't see it happening."

Emily explained that when playing in Europe, it's important to be ashamed "if only for the sake of the Europeans. They love it when Americans are ashamed."

"Well let's be ashamed of something" Martie said, "as long as it doesn't piss everyone off again."

The Chicks are also considering the economy, global warming, and the TV show "Big Brother 10."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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