Hot gossip from the Cannes Film Festival suggests that smooth-talking Donald Rumsfeld has landed the plum role of the Ogre, in Shrek 3'.
Whilst Mike Myers has unquestionably played the ogre with great passion, it was felt that he did not have the intuitive charm and wit of Mr Rumseld who delighted the American public with his razor-sharp updates on the Iraqi War.
Philosophers are still sifting through Donald's words of wisdom in an attempt to solve the deep meaning of his speech which warned us of the fact that we don't know that there are things that we don't know we don't know !
Shrek 3 will take the animated adventure into a more modern setting of warfare in foreign parts and state-of-the-art graphics will be used to bring this contemporary story of fairytale slime balls to life.
It has been rumoured that the beautiful Hilary Clinton has been pencilled-in for the role of Princess Fiona now that Cameron Diaz has decided to spend more time at home.
George W Bush has not entirely refused the role of the donkey, but is believed to be waiting until after the election before making a bigger ass of himself.