Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 3 June 2008

image for Big Brother Back Amid New Controversy
Every boring incident will be scrutinised

Big Brother returns to the nation's TV screens this Thursday amid a new controversy over the lack of any new controversy over the show, which thrives on controversy and, of course, scandal.

Racism, sexism, agism and homosexualism have all figured in the show's murky past, with the most famous incident involving Jade Goody and Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty, in what became known as 'Poppadumgate'. Goody was ostracized and marginalised for her part in the shambles, whilst Shetty was immortalised, turbanised, and later kissed by Richard Gere.

The new series was set to shock and surprise viewers new shocks and surprises, and its outlandish choice of housemates, but show producers are now worried that, with everything that has already gone before, Big Brother 9 may prove to be the most mundane yet.

Channel 4 executive Rodney Clunt told fans on the BB website:

"We've done sexism, racism, homophobia, Lesboism and all the sick anal jokes we could muster. We plan to have Davina Macall give birth to a baboon during the show, but even this may prove too dull for viewers' insatiable appetite for groundbreaking material. It's looking grim."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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