Written by matwil
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Friday, 16 May 2008

Tens of thousands of New Yorkers didn't bother watching Old Kids On The Block's comeback today, as they performed again for the first time in 85 years.

Their hits, such as Wrong Stuff and Hangin' Round The YMCA made them almost as famous as they're rivals, the Village People.

Karen Richmug, who travelled from her own private tobacco farm in Virginia to see them, said: 'They were, like, awesome! I was scared they'd look like ridiculous, balding, middle-aged idiots, with dodgy moustaches, trying not to fall over, but they managed to sing and dance like my grandad in the pub.'

Radio1's Simla Caughtspeeding said: 'You could hardly hear them singing, luckily, due to all the screams from the eight people in the audience - screams of pain.'

One Old Kid, who asked to be nameless, and in fact nobody has ever heard of, said: 'Yeah, it felt more like Woodstock than anything else, maybe as big an event as when Led Zeppelin got deported from America, for beating a few bouncers senseless with pool cues.'

And another Old Kid, speaking from his hairdresser's, said: 'Do you like my new hair style?'

Other famous bands are considering re-forming, noticing how huge the Old Kids still are, including their stomachs, and speaking from his million-pound council house in Merseyside, Sir Paul Yokartney said: 'Yeah, if the Old Kids can settle their differences, and get back together again, so can The Beatles. Of course, Yoko will have to take John's place, but that shouldn't be a problem.'

And asked about his views on the Old Kids' hits, he added: 'Incredible stuff, unforgettable. I even thought I'd do a few of their songs as covers, but didn't quite think they were in the league of 'The Frog Song' or 'Jet.''

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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