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Tuesday, 6 May 2008

image for Pinochet rigged Eurovision vote for Lulu's 'Boom-Bang-A-Bang' moans Cliff Richard
Some blame Frank Sonata and Ronnie Raygun for all the vote rigging

London - (Sorry Ass Mess): Not content with blaming Spain's General Franco for stitching him up over the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest debacle Cliff Richard has now vented his ire on yet another fascist dicator for blatant favoritism the following year.

The ageing pointless Brit crooner, real name Maurice Sydney Twat - told reporters today that his failed '68 rendition of 'Congratulations' was all down to Franco's hatred of his friendship with loudmouthed leftie Scouser Cherie Booth.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough, the Chilean mass-murderer General Augusto Pinochet then leaned on judges to pick Lulu's 'Boom-Bang-A-Bang' in '69 because somebody pulled his leg that she'd shag him one," the singer added bitterly.

His comments were immediately rebutted by former Eurovision officials who insisted it was Dana's 1970 entry of 'All Kinds of Everything' and Abba's '74 version of 'Waterloo' that were the real subsequent culprits.

"We blame General de Gaulle's fascist rentboy and Ugandan dictator Idi Amin for the blatant vote-rigging of the seventies," a former contest bigwig said today.

However the music editor of LA FagHagSlag is unequivocal and personally nails the blame on Panama's General Noriega "for the ultimate winning trash-heap of 'Save Your Kisses For Me' by Brotherhood of Man in 1976."

His comments were quickly picked up by UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon who waded in with a vitriolic attack on former Palestinian terrorist Yasser Arafat whom he blamed for vote rigging behind Buck's Fizz's 1981 winning entry 'Making Your Mind Up'.

Meanwhile a source close to Eurovision's 1988 winner Celine Dion ('Ne partez pas sans moi') said that she could never understand the universal torrent of loathing for her until somebody hinted one day that she is George W Bush's personal entertainment pin-up girl.

Sandie 'Puppet on a String' Shaw was sponsored in her '67 winning song by the KGB's Nikita Khrushchev.

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