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Topics: Rod Hull

Sunday, 4 May 2008

image for Emu pushed Parky too far?
Emu - Shaken not pushed??

Conspiracy theorist and purveyors of paranoia are in for a treat, in a soon to be released autobiography by theatrical agent and Corgi registered plumber, Norman Savage. It is to reveal the true nature of the events surrounding the death of light entertainment legend Rod Hull.

Hull was killed falling off his roof after scaling the roof to adjust his TV aerial. Emu suffered a broken wing and a dislocated beak in the incident.

For years since the tragic event it was widely believed to have been a freak DIY accident, but like the deaths of JFK, Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe and Maureen Lipman before him, it is set to be thrust into controversy and shown to be part of a major government cover up.

According to a reliable source, a bloke called Ronnie, who drinks down Mr Savage's local pub, 'The Goatsbile Inn' in Putney, a white Fiat Uno was parked just yards from Hull & Emu's residence around the time of the 'accident'. Coincidentally at around that time Michael Parkinson, TV Chat Show king and keen 'Help the Aged' voluntary worker, was using his wife's White Fiat Uno to deliver meals-on-wheels to Putney Pensioners.

When asked to comment, Parky angrily blasted "I never saw that fool or his bird again after that infamous interview, good ridence!"

In a bizarre twist it is also said he fell foul to an RSPB Tweed Ninja Death Squad, hell-bent on revenge for years of Emu's captivity. This is a double blow to the RSPB coming as close as it does to the recent revelations of 'double agent' Bill Oddie's defection. Harry Knuckles an RSPB spokesperson said "this is a right load of old pony and anyone who says any different is gonna to get a right twatting!"

Emu's career has continued to free-fall since the demise of his comedy side-kick, Hull. He hasn't had a single booking since 2003 and has been in and out of rehab for a Poppy seed addiction.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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