Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Miley Cyrus to Write Autobiography
These girls are probably too old for Miley's book

Fifteen year old Miley Cyrus, the young actress who plays Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel on cable television, has decided to record her memoirs for posterity. "Destiny Comes With Mouse Ears; The Autobiography of Miley Cyrus" will be published this fall by Scholastic Press.

Cyrus has starred in her own series, been on the cover of several magazines, toured in concerts, and starred in a concert film.

The book will cover such topics in the life of the fifteen year old as "Why they named the character Hannah Montana."

Said Cyrus, "Well, they wanted to use a state name and have it kind of rhyme. Hennessy Tennessee sounded like a cartoon character. Fucky Kentucky sounded a little too skanky, as did anything using Idaho. No one could come up with good rhymes for Massachussets or Connecticut. Rhoda Island sounded kinda stupid."

Readers will also gain insight into Miley's political beliefs: "I like that line in Bill and Ted where they say be excellent to each other. If I could vote in this election, it would probably be for the one with the best hair and fashion sense."

Miss Cyrus will also talk about her most harrowing experience: "I was, like, about to go on stage in Denver, and, like, I had this huge zit, and, like, it was horrid and I couldn't let anyone see it but it was, like, too gross to pop it and I didn't want that icky stuff oozing out my face!"

Publishers project a sell out first run printing, with the target audience being girls under 13 and pedophiles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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