Middle aged ladies' favourite Chris de Burgh is to visit Iran in an attempt to convert the Muslim population to Christianity through the power of his music.
The 59-year-old singer songwriter will start his "Crusades" tour of the Islamic Republic in May in Tehran, where he is expected to be greeted by Supremes' Leader Diana Ross, who will also be touring the country as a guest of Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei.
De Burgh, son of British diplomat Colonel Charles Davison and descendant of Rupert de Bear, will sing "The Lady in Red" repeatedly to crowds of Iranians until they recant their belief in Islam.
Although de Burgh had massive success with the aforementioned 1986 hit, his greatest achievement is undoubtedly the juicy fruit of his loins, Rosanna Davison, who won the coveted Miss World title in 2003.
Unfortunately, like her father, Davison has had little success since her finest hour, though is still pleasant to look at.