Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Sex, Gay, chickens

Sunday, 20 April 2008

image for 'A good Cock these days is hard to find' laments Undertones Feargal Sharkey in Hot Press Interview.
Japanese Cock Calipers.

Eighties punk singer Feargal Sharkey has lashed out at the lack of big healthy virile cocks that are available for sex at any time of the day or night in an interview with Hot Press magazine to be published later this month.

"It's something that really gets my goat y'know" Feargal told Hot Press Editor Niall Stokes as he relaxed at his 16th century Farmhouse in Islington North London.

"I've tried everything, advertising in the papers, trawling the net even, the internet has special sites to help you find the biggest and best cocks from all over the world and to be fair there are some very impressive ones out there but I haven't seen a cock strong enough to last the pace enough to service my needs."

Sharkey was the lead singer of Eighties punk band the Undertones but today when he is not hard at work as Chairman of the UK Government task force the 'Live Music Forum' he relaxes on his 120 acre Islington farm and indulges his lifelong passion for breeding Japanese Ongadori long feathered chickens.

"To breed prize chickens you need top class cocks," Sharkey raged. "Some of the cocks on sale are pathetic, scrawny examples of unscrupulous cock dealing practices. Rogue dealers are hawking substandard breeding fowl in to the market place with no thought for the bloodline and pedigree that has been painstakingly built over many years and at great expense. These people don't care about cocks.

"If one bad cock gets in it could potentially shag the whole operation and I'm determined to have unlicensed cock dealing outlawed."

Bill Hatcher of the Japanese Exotic Breeders Association had this advice for any newcomers to chicken breeding.

"Please do not pay good money for a bad cock it's just not worth it, word of mouth is and always was still the most effective and trusted way of getting a good cock"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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