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Tuesday, 11 March 2008

image for Heather Mills:  knives out as Yoko Ono blocks iTunes deal
Paul McCartney: Yoko Ono is a surprising ally in the current litigation fiasco

London - (Rotters): 'Expect an imminent celeb drive-by shooting' is this week's lead news-story in LA FagHagSlagMag as vexatious divorce litigant Heather Mills vies to erase Yoko Ono after yet another a bid to publish Beatles songs on iTunes fails.

All-out open warfare between Michael Jackson's creditors, Sony Music/ATV Music Publishing and the EMI Group is being manipulated by Ono whose loathing of Mills is second only to that of McCartney's daughter Stella.

"Mills believes she can screw Paul McCartney for a £100 million settlement," a LA FahHagSlagMag editorial has said.

"But this is dependent on Beatles songs getting the right iTunes deal.

"Fat chance!

"Yoko has put the screws on this one by forcing her Michael Jackson tribute artiste son into a legal quagmire."

Jackson has debts of over $200 million.

His ownership claims of the Beatles songbook have long been in tatters after countless lawsuits denied him ownership.

Creditors have frozen his bank accounts, seized his Neverland ranch, straight-jacketed him in small print and lined attorney's wallets with hundreds of millions of dollars in fees and retainers.

A London divorce judge has promised to give his verdict on the Mills'/McCartney divorce settlement by St Patrick's Day, March 17th.

"Unless of course some unfortunate accident befalls one of the related parties before then..."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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