Written by Pariah
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Monday, 26 April 2004

image for Winnie The Pooh Busted in 100 Acre Wood Sex Romp
Compromising pictures catching the couple in the act

Winnie the Pooh was arrested today on one count of public indecency, one count of fornication in a public location, one count of bestiality, as well as numerous other misdemeanors. Similar charges have been made against Winnie's collaborator, Eeyor.

"I never would have expected this of Pooh," stated Christopher Robbin. "He was always a silly old bear".

"I always thought it would be Tigger...", commented Rabbit. "He was the one who loved to bounce so much."

Winnie the Pooh, the loveable, yellow bear has been an icon in the children's entertainment industry for several decades. A representative from Disney, the owners of the Winnie the Pooh franchise, made a brief statement and attempted to console outraged parents and shocked children. "You must remember, Winnie is not just the character you see on the screen. He is also an individual with his own urges and needs."

Not since the mid-1990's, when actor Paul Rubens (aka Pee-Wee Herman) was caught exposing himself in an adult theater, has the children's entertainment industry been so shaken.

Winnie the Pooh and Eeyor were caught in a compromising position by Kanga and Roo, who had been out for a stroll in the hundred acre wood. "It looked like it was about to rain, so we dodged under some bushes, only to find those two engaged in their acts," commented Kanga. "And to think of all the times I let them play with little Roo."

Since the event, Winnie has been receiving thousands of angry letters from parents and children all over the world. "Some have gone so far as to call me Winnie the Poof," Winnie stated.

Sales of the new video "Eeyor's Big Adventure" have plummeted in light of Eeyor's real-life big adventure. "At this point, I just want to get on with my life and be left alone," Eeyor commented.

Aerial footage of the sex-capade have been circulating around the internet, although none of the other animals have confessed to having witnessed the scene. Police have taken Owl into custody for questioning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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