Written by Rodd Justice
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Topics: Reality TV

Wednesday, 5 September 2001

image for Changing Rooms' Star House Ruined
O'Brien - The log reminded me of the Aztec Zone

The presenter of the TV series "Changing Rooms", Carol Smelly, was described as "distraught, a complete mess" after vandals spent 3 weeks in her house redecorating. The sick odd-jobbers filled every room with MDF "Handy Andy" style furniture, and bright pink and black paint-jobs.

The worst damage was done in the bedroom, where a tormenting water feature was installed. It was a slippery wooden log across a pool, as seen in the Aztec Zone in the "Crystal Maze". It is now nearly impossible for Miss Smelly to get to bed without first experiencing a humiliating water dunk as she tries to run across the log to get to her bed on the other side..

Smelly, 30, is said to have "cracked" when she saw that her precious bidet had been removed, and replaced with a shrub that had grown into the shape of irony.

Police say that they have been tracking the criminal gang responsible for over 2 months. In this time, the rotters have bull-dozed Alan Titchmarsh's garden and replaced it with a patio. They were let off on this occasion because they claimed to be helping Mr Titchmarsh; he apparently "needed something more low-maintenance".

Other pranks included filling in a Mensa application on behalf of Anthea Turner, and alleging that Anne Diamond has been committing unemployment benefit fraud, despite the former breakfast ace being completely out of work for years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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