Written by Wire Piddle
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Topics: Beatles

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

image for Beatles guru, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, set to retire

After 50 years of leading the international transendental meditation movement, 91 year-old Beatles guru, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, is set to retire. Growing weary of his busy schedule of meditating, though, he has yet to produce a successor. Succession planning in any business endeavour is a serious consideration; especially if the organization spans the globe.

However all may not be lost as music and television guru, Simon Cowell, best known for his tremendously successful 'Idol' series, may come to the rescue.

It is believed that the two will team up to produce firstly 'British Guru' then "American Guru' followed by a similar series of shows staged in various countries around the world, all in the hopes of finding a replacement for the aging Maharishi.

Whereas the pop music shows have been largely populated by teen or 20 something contestants, the 'Guru' series will be restricted to those between 35 and 45.

"I think it's about time we concentrate on a largely untapped audience of those crossing over into middle age," Cowell said. "There really is a whole mass of the middle aged who, for one reason or another, are slowly seeing their dreams slip from their fingertips. The 'Guru' series will offer them one last chance at the 'brass ring' as it were."

"This series really is a perfect fit for both of our companies as well as the medium" Cowell said.

"I mean who wouldn't want to be the head of a large multinational corporation where the only qualification is that one can master the lotus position, chant, and order in a good takeaway curry."

When asked what his secret was for living such a long and productive life, Maharishi responded, "Oh, no matter where I travel, I've always been an active collector and consumer of those little Seagram's V.O. whiskey bottles they give out in First Class, Apart from that I really couldn't say."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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