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Tuesday, 22 January 2008

image for Britney heartbroken as Diana's Butler beds Winehouse
Burrell wooed Winehouse by pretending to be crack cocaine

Paul Burrell, former fawner in chief to Princess Diana and publicity junkie has continued to cause chaos in the life of vulnerable young women. Burrell announced that he has split with Britney after only two day's of drug fuelled sex and has fallen in love with new blonde crack addict and sometime singer Amy Winehouse.

"As I said to Princess Diana, I said to Amy that I would be her rock and from thereon it was love all the way - she can't get enough of me."

The truth, as ever with the PR mad ex butler is slightly different. He did indeed say to Winehouse that he would be her rock - but in a state of intoxication she understood that to mean a reference to crack cocaine and was immediately drawn towards him. Experts worry that this relationship may prevent Winehouse from curing her current drug and alcohol addictions.

"She can get through this if she is high or stoned - but once she sobers up and sees her new "man" for the crass, cheap and grubby headline grabber that he is the shock will be too much for her."

Burrell's new book "The secrets Amy told me" is published next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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