Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Friday, 18 January 2008

image for Lohan sentenced to swabbing morgue corpses
Of course corpses' next of kin might object to Lohan coming anywhere near them

California - (DUI Mess): The community service part of Lindsay Lohan's DUI sentence begins next week and will see the Mean Girls star work two days a week swabbing down corpses at the LA District Morgue.

Lohan will also be expected to work on the LA Vagrants' Kitchen midnight soup run to gain some perspective of many mortuary clients' lifestyle expectations.

The movie star initially complained that this part of her community service sentence was cruel and unusual.

But her LA District Court sentencing judge said he was happy to swap morgue corpse swabbing down duties for a twelve month custodial stint at the Paris Hilton Psychiatric Memorial Wing at Lynwood Jail.

Lawyers acting for Lohan have one trump card still up their sleeves however.

They are considering an appeal on their client's behalf citing medical allergies to decomposing flesh 'that could have a serious prejudicial effect on Ms Lohan's professional future'.

"Actually it would be better for Lindsay to spend some time - maybe ten minutes maximum - in the morgue and then catch an apparent flesh-eating bug varian such as MRSA,"sources opined today.

"That way we could sue on the 'cruel & unusual' AND claim aggravated damages for exposure to viral contaminants.

"We could be talking hundreds of millions of dollars here."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

7 23 15 5

Go to top