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Wednesday, 2 January 2008

image for Pregnant Nympho Jamie Lynn Spears set for 'Zoey 101' Return
Zooey gets raunchy this season. Each episode will feature a slow-motion breast bouncing sequence

Pregnant Zooey 101 "star", Jamie Lynn Spears is poised to return to the (s)hit show this Friday.

The botox-faced wench is said to be "nervous" but "excited" about making her return. Unfortunate TV viewers are said to be far less ecstatic.

But even with Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister pregnant - the kiddie network has no plans to pull "Zoey" from its schedule, nor are officials there expecting trouble.

"Hey, she's the hot shit at the moment," a Nickelodeon fan said yesterday, "We gotta push the little vixen out there quik to cash in on all this hot publicity. I've a wife and five transvestite hookers to support - Jamie Lynn is my ticket to ride, sweet cakes".

Industry sources have kept remarkably secretive regarding a proposed guest appearance from big sis Britney in the opening episode. Some have hinted that she may appear playing Zooey's pimp ladyfriend who offers advise on unsafe-sex which Zooey stupidly follows like a fool. This would then allow 'writers' to get around the whole pregnancy 'thing'.

Web geeks have soiled their pants after rumors spread that a French bordello set had been built on the lot where the dumb-ass show is filmed.

"This seasons show is gonna feature much more tits and ass", hinted a Nick insider, "The last few seasons have been pretty chaste - and lets be honest here - shit. This year is gonna have steamy shower room sequences in slow-mo, gratuitous full frontal nudity and hardcore bondage. We're gonna push the boat out on this one".

Nickelodeon has also purchased the rights to the Jamie Lynn story which they intend to turn into an animated documentary in the style of Rugrats. But with vaginas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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