Montego Bay, Jamaica - (Bad Ass Mess): Singer Amy Whinehouse has fled old Blighty, leaving behind newly detoxed jailbird husband Flake Bleeder-Weevil at HMP Belmarsh for a two week sunshine holiday in the Carribean with Pete Doherty.
"I just can't deal with Flake now he's clean, sober and about to do a plea-bargain," Whorehouse sobbed as she boarded her GanjaTours Sunshine Flight from Luton Airport this morning.
"I mean, he's just so boring. Even tried giving me a Clean & Serene One Day at a Time keyring as a Xmas present.
"And made me promise tojoin him at the Belmarsh 12-Step meeting every day until the next court hearing.
"Luckily old Pete knocked some sense into me. Good old Pete. Hard-on like a rhino. Nostrils like tungsten. Understands the bottoml;ess depths of a woman's with needs. Ha!"
Whorehouse and Doherty have rented a mansion on Montego Bay's Bong Plantation celeb district at a reported £25,000 per week inclusive of all the narcotics they could ever need.
Friends say the singer apparently promised her husband that 'of course she would be faithful' during the fortnight break.
"Anyway, shagging Pete doesn't count, does it?"