Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 27 December 2007

image for Chicken Crosses Road, Philosophers Demand to Know Why
Why would they cross a road?

Outside of the Tyson Processing Plant in Springdale Arkansas, a chicken was spotted crossing the road. Philosophers from the nearby University of Arkansas, who were dining at a nearby restaurant, witnessed the event and demanded to know "why?"

The chicken was chased, cornered, and quickly arrested for jaywalking by an off duty officer at the request of the professors. It was transported to the local juvenile detention facility (as it was only six months old) and will be placed in foster care pending identification of the nearest relative.

Meanwhile, the University Philosophy Department allerted other nearby schools (University of Tulsa, Southwest Missouri State University, Oral Roberts University, and others) and they are preparing a battery of questions to ask the now penned fowl.

Their interrogations, however, will have to wait. In fact, it may be some time before they learned exactly why the chicken crossed the road. If the reason is discovered, it could be a major pullet surprise.

As a minor, the chicken will have to have a court appointed juvenile advocate sit in on any interviews or interrogations. The chicken's free speech rights against self incrimination (Fifth Amendment) must also be protected.

When observed, the chicken was last seen pecking at the bedbugs in a cell at the Springdale Municipal Juvenile Detention Center.

Tyson foods, meanwhile, is seeking return of the bird as their property and necessary to complete an order for a nearby KFC distribution center.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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