Written by King David
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Topics: Don Imus

Friday, 2 November 2007

image for Imus is back
A fan reacts to the return of Don Imus

The irreverent shock jock, Don Anus will be back again in December airing his new show, "All Things Black and White." Citadel broadcasting which controls WABC (Wasn't Always a Bad Child) plans to syndicate to thousands of radio stations across the country.

When asked if he will continue to be as controversial as he was before, Anus simply said that he'd realized he'd "done wrong" and wasn't about to make the same mistakes as before.

To safeguard against this, Anus is planning to begin his new season on an easier note by interviewing prostitutes from LA's west side, members from a NY City escort service and Washington area politicians jockeying for the presidential nomination just in case he slips up.

Anus' show was cancelled 9 months ago after he made derogatory and inflammatory comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team, the Scarlet Knights, calling them a bunch of "prostitutes."

Critics say that Anus' comments, viewed one way, may not have been far from the truth in that college athletics have sold out to big money contracts with corporations, but in a nation such as this and so many literal-minded clods with such unsophisticated use of the English language, he was risking a firestorm and got it.

"He crossed over the line," said English language referee, Biorn Norman, "and was thrown out of the game temporarily."

Sponsors for Anus say that they are not worried. Sometimes controversy feeds notoriety. And notoriety sells products.

"We're not going to get the audience of a Howard Sperm," says sponsor spokesperson, Niles Nike, "but we will get those with a few more brain cells and better genetics."

The Rutgers women's basketball team when asked what they thought of Anus being back on the air in December said that they "just wanted to be left alone to play basketball."

The jury is still out as to whether he will make it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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