Former "Differenet Strokes" star Gary Coleman has been made a Judge. The diminutive actor admits he has no experience whatsoever but is delighted with his new position of authority.
"I'm so excited", quipped the little dude, "it sure beats the hell out of the crap I've been doing since my show got cancelled in the 80's".
Famous for his catchphrase "Whatchoo talkin' about, Willis?", Coleman hit hard times when the shows popularity dwindled and the idea of a grown man playing a boy became too creepy for TV audiences. During his "forgotten" years Coleman had to make do with oddjobs such as a security guard and night-watchman. But his lucky break came when Arnold Schwarzenegger become Governor of California.
"Arnold and I are long time pals", said Coleman, bedecked in his Judges robes, "He always looks out for his friends and when a vacancy showed up his local courthouse he knew where to turn".
Coleman has already tried over a dozen cases and sentenced 3 movie agents to death. Rumors are rife that he may be given the OJ Simpson robbery case ahead of nearest rival and frontrunners Judge Ito and Judge Judy. Asked how fair he might be, Coleman chuckled:
"Maybe I'll lend the brother a little hand, who knows?"