Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Snakes

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

image for "Snakes on a Snake Preserve" Premieres to Cool Response

A new production studio's hopes for their recent action blockbuster dimmed somewhat when their film opened to a mediocre audience response and poor reviews.

The film, "Snakes on a Snake Preserve," a sequel to last season's thriller "Snakes on a Plane", was set to be a major offering. Dealing with a group of tourists who get trapped on a snake preserve and encounter many hissing and slithering snakes, the film features newcomer Otis Buchwald as a CIA agent who has to defeat the snakes.

Audiences left, for the most part, shaking their heads. One viewer asked "What were tourists doing on a snake preserve anyway? What is there to see or do?" and another added 'If you're on a snake preserve, you pretty much know what you're getting into. I don't get it."

The film's director, Harris Praun, blamed the Hollywood system for the poor response. "Every film is the same nowadays. Anyone can make snakes on a plane frightening. But on a snake preserve? That's a real reversal, man! People completely missed that."

The director also pointed out that none of the snakes in his film were computer generated-- "These were the real reptile deal, baby."

In many scenes, the snakes seemed to be asleep, and actors merely talked about what the snakes might do if they woke up. A few snakes seemed ill, however the director added "Yeah, ill, ill like a snake! That's how they get you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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