Written by Jesus Budda
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Monday, 24 September 2007

image for Large, hairy men form human shield around Robin Williams house
This is "Brian", one of Robin Williams hired protectors, He refused to be identified on camera.

It has been reported that a human ring of burly hirsute men have gathered around the luxurious home of comedian Robin Williams.

The drastic step was taken following an unidentified callers claim that Williams was to be the latest target of a spate of shaving attacks in the celebrity area's of Hollywood.

"I was scared sh*tless", said neighbor and Esperanto speaker, William Shatner. "The thought that something like that could happen in this neighborhood makes me very worried. When I think of what they could have done to Robin's hairy shoulders and back it just makes me shiver all over".

A spokesman for "Selebrity Security", the security firm employed by Williams and other well known homeowners, explained the "Hairy man" defence technique:
"In order to get to the occupant, the intruder must first fight through the gauntlet of specially trained, extremely hairy men. The assailant, usually armed with a common electric shaver will pretty much always fail as either the blades clog up or he runs out of battery power".

Police sources say they are hunting a white Caucasian male, dressed like the McDonalds Hamburgler.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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