Written by Dignan
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Monday, 13 August 2007

Lance Turkwood, President and CEO of the Society of Homosexual Revelry In Motion Pictures (SHRIMP) is trying to determine the best title for his next film, a 60 minute, direct-to-DVD gay pornographic feature inspired by Michael Moore's health-care-industry-skewering documentary Sicko.

"Right now, we're struggling between Dicko and Sucko. Fisto and Swallo were on the shortlist, but we thought the audience would have a difficult time making connection. It just wasn't as immediate."

Turkwood, whose naming credentials for all-male-cast features have included Shaving Ryan's Privates and Johnson Family Vacation has already held several focus groups trying to resolve the issue.

"We know the main character will be called Michael More-cock. That was pretty easy. He'll be a 'cock-u-mentary' film maker who visits various hospitals, and wonders aloud why he can't get covered for cosmetic pubic shaves and spontaneous proctological exams."

Turkwood elaborates that in each case, the physician and a male nurse or two meet More-cock in the examination room, where he is clad in a backwards hospital gown. He is quickly able to persuade every medical professional to provide desired services.

"And very convincingly," adds Turkwood. "There's a great scene where an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor exclaims: 'Oh, who cares about ears and noses anyway?'"

Turkwood also noted that, whether named Dicko or Sucko, this film would use the "rubber glove snap" sound effect an unprecedented 267 times.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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