Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 3 July 2007

image for Kylie To Star In Xmas Doctor Who
Kiely's played all over the Universe, Doctor!

The BBC have announced a major coup for their festive TV schedule by securing the services of West Bromwich Albion goalkeeper Dean Kiely for the Christmas Day showing of Doctor Who.

Salford-born Kiely started his playing career with West Brom before moving to Coventry City and then Ipswich Town. He had little success in breaking into the first team at either, and then transferred again to York City, where he kept a clean sheet in a surprise 3-0 drubbing of Manchester United.

He then had a successful career under Alan Curbishley at Charlton Athletic, where he was a major star, before moving again to Portsmouth, Luton and back to the Baggies, where he currently plies his trade.

Russell T. Davies, who wrote the exciting Christmas Doctor Who hour-long special entitled Voyage Of The Damned, is a massive fan of Kiely, and said he needed someone for the part who could regularly and reliably 'save the day'.

Davies had briefly considered asking Australian TV star-turned-pop diva Kylie Minogue to appear in the show, but the West Brom goalkeeper's shot-stopping ability and penalty-saving record tipped the balance in his favour.

Filming is due to start in Cardiff later this month at one of the few places, seemingly, that Kiely has never played.

Meanwhile, West Brom are to start next season with a newly-signed mystery Australian goalie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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