Written by deadcloud
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Tuesday, 19 June 2007

image for Filth Artist Hirst: "I want Manning Skull"
50st Manning was a big chocolate fan. Hirst feels this is a fitting tribute.

Contorversial shark-stuffer Damien Hirst capped off tributes to deceased potty mouth Bernard Manning today by announcing he is set to acquire the comedian's skull.

Hirst has been working on a series of decorated skulls, the Cranial Misery Sequence, and has recently sold Poofter's Bauble - the skull of an 18th Century Syphilitic soapdodger encrusted with £12.50 worth of diamantes - to popster George Michael for £50 million.

"I was never ashamed to laugh at Bernard," revealed Hirst, "I always felt I would be comfortable down the pub with him whereas with someone like Ben Elton . . .well, I won't say what I'd do to him."

Hirst plans to 'maggotise' Manning's skull - a process designed to speed up natural decay - and then cover it in chocolate.

"I'm considering a glacé cherry topping," said boozy Hirst, "and if you ask me what it all means I'll glacé you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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