Written by Warren Redlich
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Saturday, 9 June 2007

image for Al Sharpton Offers to Help Paris Hilton
Not Paris Hilton, and not OJ's wife

Al Sharpton offered his assistance to the Hilton family and their daughter Paris Hilton's.

Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca's office had removed Hilton from jail and taken her to her home to serve the remainder of her term under house arrest. After widespread complaints, including from Sharpton, Judge Michael Sauer overturned the Sheriff's decision and ordered her back to jail.

In a new development, Sharpton today offered his help to the family. After meeting with them yesterday, Sharpton has offered a solution, where Paris would serve her time under house arrest, but at OJ Simpson's old house in Brentwood.

Under the plan, Sharpton would personally supervise her 24 hours a day, with assistance from Simpson, who will take time off from his efforts to find his ex-wife's real killer. "Between me and the Juice, we'll make sure her time is just as unpleasant as the county jail," assured the civil rights leader, "and once she's had us, she'll never go back to her old ways."

Sharpton is also scheduled to meet this week with Baca to discuss the racial and socioeconomic implications of special treatment received by Paris Hilton in this case.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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